The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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