i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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