btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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