Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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