Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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