Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
