There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
