Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
