i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
