so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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