Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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