Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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