It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize