She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
