It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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