Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
