Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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