Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
