Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
FUCK WHALES
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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