i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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