You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
