Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
