is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
