a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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