I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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