gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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