I'm eating all of the evidence.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
