The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
