i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
