You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
