she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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