I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
