you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
