i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
