It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
