I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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