I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
