Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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