I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
