So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
