I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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