3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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