Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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