make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize