All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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