So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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