all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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