Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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