No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
