dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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