I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
