HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do herpes really smell.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Terrible idea I love it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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