i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i think my cat just said my name.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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