She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ugly people sure do ruin things
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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