we have pet lesbian snakes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
