If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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