I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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