I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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