Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize