it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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