i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
