I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
