ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
